Overcoming fears and phobias by Sandy MacGregor

November 11, 2013 Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Google+ Life Coaching Articles


Overcoming fears and phobias

Fear is the negative effect of imagination and can occur spontaneously, and against our will. We can all experience different fears in many different ways, yet there is a common factor behind most of our fears – the way they are formed. Fears can be resolved.

Common Fears and Phobias

Here is a list of most common fears and phobias that people experience. Do you have one of these fears that you are looking to beat?

Driving phobia
Fear of being alone
Fear of clowns
Fear of commitment
Fear of crowds
Fear of death
Fear of driving
Fear of dying
Fear of failure
Fear of flying
Fear of heights
Fear of public speaking
Fear of rejection
Fear of speaking
Fear of spiders
Fear of the dark
Fear or phobia of dentist
Stage fright

The Process – How Does Fear Begin?

We are aroused by only two sensations, pain and pleasure. We all want to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. The emotional cycle which leads to fear begins in the present with our initial experience of pain or pleasure, and ends up with complex feelings which are “remembered” exclusively in the past. This cycle of emotions has been found by psychiatrists to follow the following pattern:

Pain in the present is experienced as hurt.
Pain in the past is remembered as anger.
Pain in the future is perceived as anxiety or fear.
Unexpressed anger, redirected against ourselves and held within is experienced as guilt.
The depletion of energy that occurs when anger is redirected inward creates depression.

“Hurt” is stored because the body retains a primitive subconscious ability to remember every incident that it experiences. This is called conditioning and it is part of the way we learn. These “hurt memories” do not usually form part of our everyday conscious awareness, but in fact our current action is influenced by hundreds of thousands of them! This primitive subconscious ability will remind you of a particular “hurt memory” through your feelings. Some childhood memories may be very painful and difficult to recall and may therefore be repressed.

If we encounter an incident which hurts us (slipping on a step while high on a ladder), and if we are unable to adequately understand, resolve or communicate our feelings about this incident, then it is automatically stored in the subconscious mind. If we then encounter the same or a similar incident (leaning over the edge of a tall building) at a later date, this “hurt” is automatically “recalled” by our subconscious mind. We are reminded that this incident is responsible for a “past hurt” through a change in our feelings. We will begin to feel uncomfortable, nervous, anxious, dizzy, weak. ,We may experience headaches, nausea or even complete paralysis. In some cases these symptoms can be experienced by just thinking about the situation!From this example it is apparent that three skills must be learnt to overcome fear:

Firstly, a method of releasing or handling the subconscious “hurt memories” which have been stored.
Secondly, developing self-confidence to deal with the actual situation which triggers the fear.
Thirdly, developing new responses to express the emotions that are felt when the situation recurs.

In the Life Skills Seminar, overcoming fear is dealt with by teaching and practising:

The conscious ability to relax and release stress any time, anywhere.
The ability to focus the mind.
The ability to neutralise and reprogram subconscious “fear memories”.
The ability to develop mind/body exercises to overcome fear.
The ability to develop greater self confidence to experience the situation which is creating fear.
The ability to program new responses to express emotions in that situation to overcome fear.